I Got Mugged. Again.

It was a typical Saturday morning in our home. I woke up earlier than everyone else and snuck down to the basement to punish myself for an hour on the elliptical. Then I went back upstairs, showered, got dressed and came back downstairs to make breakfast for everyone like the moonlighting wannabe short order cook that I am. We all marveled at the glorious goodness that is the first cup of coffee & we laughed as I broke the yolk on one of my fried eggs again. I am blaming it on having to switch to a new spatula but that is blog that has already been written and is irrelevant to this particular story. When breakfast was over, I asked my wife if there were any errands I could do for her and she gladly handed over the grocery list. I gladly accepted since I know my wife hates going to the grocery store on the weekends (or any other day for that matter too) and because I actually like to try and beat the store at its own game when it comes to pricing & specials.

Now if I hadn’t still been in somewhat of an Aloha State of Mind due to our recent vacation I might have paid more attention to the date. I might have noticed the parking lot was full to bursting with cars, people & wayward carts. I might have noticed the crowds around the doors. But I didn’t and I plunged through the chaos with my basket in hand to further my quest to conquer the list & beat up on the store.

After I successfully negotiated the crowded aisles & the mounting obstacles around the checkout, I made way back toward the exit and the chaos that was still the parking lot. As I stepped through the doors into the broad daylight and slipped between two slow moving carts they struck. There were five of them and I recognized all five of them instantly because they were the same five that had mugged me in this very same parking lot a year earlier. I looked at them & they looked back at me before the one that was obviously the ringleader said with a quirky smile,

“Hey Mister, want to buy some Girl Scout Cookies ?”

Twenty bucks later they had trashed my diet and they were moving onto their next victim. As I watched Thin Mint, Tagalong, Trefoil, Samoa & Do Si Do (my names for them, not theirs) walk away, I heard their troop leader merrily gloat , “Thank you Sir & see you again next year”.

My waistline & wallet shuddered at the thought.

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