Put Some Frosting On, You Hussy ! (Just Say No to Naked Cakes)

By no means would I ever describe myself as a prude but the recent overabundance of nakedness in our society has caught my attention in the wrong way. People are getting naked more now than at any time since the Flower Power & Free Love Days of the late 1960’s & early 1970’s. We see naked people in the movies, we see naked people on TV, we see naked people on the internet and if you aren’t careful about where you look, you will see naked people on the streets of New York. Now all that nakedness has spilled over into the culinary world and that is where I have to draw the line on all this gratuitous nudity. We must put a stop to the scourge of the Naked Cake.

Now as we all know, God & Julia Child invented cake frosting for a reason. It is meant to be spread in between the layers of a cake, it is meant to spread on top of a cake and most of all it is meant to be spread on the SIDES of a cake. If you hand me a piece of cake with no frosting on the sides, I am going to look to see if you or someone else already licked it off. I realize that you can have fun with the colors and make the cakes look like confetti exploding inside but I don’t care. It’s not right. The Anticipation of the Reveal is a trick that has been handed down throughout society from the beginning of time and it applies to cake as well as anywhere else. I want to see the knife slide slowly through the cake as the frosting clings ever so slightly to the sides of the knife. I want to be surprised by the piece of cake itself when it is lifted ever so gently away from the main body of the cake and laid on its side on the plate. I want to see that thick layer of frosting on the side smearing on the plate. I don’t want to see that half of the decadent fun that is a piece of cake is already gone or not even there. Leave that to the middle slices of a sheet cake. Think about how the surprise would have been spoiled at a recent wedding down south where the Groom had the baker make the frosting for the Wedding Cake be Crimson & White in honor of Alabama while the Bride secretly had the same baker make the layers of the same cake Orange & Blue for Florida if the cake had been naked on the sides.

So please don’t give in to this latest nonsensical food trend like everyone did with Kale & Quinoa. Just say no to the Naked Cake. Be like me and say loudly & proudly…

Put Some Frosting On, You Hussy !


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